Finding Light in the Darkest Places // Part Two of Erika L. Sánchez's "Crying in the Bathroom"

Where do your beliefs about yourself and your worth come from? (And how do we change them!?)

Crying in the Bathroom by Erika L. Sánchez is more than just a memoir—it's a roadmap for anyone navigating the complex terrain of identity, self-worth, and finding joy amid life's challenges.

As we dive into part two of our discussion, my friend, Diliana, and I explore how Erika's romantic relationships mirror her journey toward self-acceptance. From her affair with Abdul (a married man) to finding true partnership with Will, her experiences reveal a profound truth: we attract partners who reflect how we treat ourselves. This revelation sparks a candid conversation about our own relationship patterns and how they evolve as we grow.

Beauty standards take center stage as we examine Erika's struggles with representation and acceptance. Her questioning of "who gets to decide" what beauty means resonates deeply, prompting stories about our own journeys through hair dye, tanning beds, and clothing choices made to fit in or stand out. We laugh about our younger selves while recognizing the serious impact these standards have on our self-perception.

The most powerful moments come when discussing Erika's discovery of "absolute happiness"—joy that exists independently of circumstances. Through Buddhist philosophy, she learns to embrace pain rather than escape it, transforming her relationship with herself. Her beautiful letter to her daughter Sojourner captures this wisdom: "The world was not built for you, but there is beauty everywhere. My greatest wish is that you fight for it."

What makes this memoir extraordinary is Erika's unflinching honesty about her flaws and contradictions. By sharing her story so openly, she gives us permission to acknowledge our own messy humanity. Have you read a book that changed how you see yourself? We'd love to hear your story.

Listener discretion advised: this episode contains adult language

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If you have any comments or questions, please connect with me on Instagram or email babesinbooklandpodcast@gmail.com. I’d love to hear your suggestions and feedback!

Link to this episode’s book:
Crying in the Bathroom by Erika L. Sánchez 

Other links:
 Kerry’s Washington’s performance of Sojourner Truth’s speech: Ain't I A Woman?
ORLAN’S Instagram

Other ways to support/connect with Erika L. Sánchez:
Instagram
Lesson on Expulsion
I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Transcripts are auto-generated through Apple’s podcast app—they may not be perfect, but relying on them allows me to dedicate more time to the show! If you’re interested in being a transcript angel, let me know. 

This episode is produced, recorded, and edited by me.

Theme song by Devin Kennedy

Special thanks to my dear fr